Master always told me that he would love to hang me upside down in the old barn (now garage/workshop)( (and whip the hell out of me of course, the sadist) The only thing is it’s pretty high there and I’m a bit afraid of highs and eh hanging upside down in general. The only thing is, I’m a very curious person and as usual my curiosity won! I hung upside down and it was amazing! Continue reading
I’m allowed to have limits, but I’m not very happy about it. Having limits give me the feeling of not completely surrendering myself to Master. I know that some limits are actually quite normal, as in he is not allowed to cut off limbs or killing me… but I have more limits, also ‘softer’ limits. I’m quite claustrophobic and being locked up for a long time in a cage or cellar is a limit to me. Also needles, heavy electro play, drinking his piss are limits to me. I know that Master doesn’t like needle play himself, so that’s not a problem, but I do have the feeling that with some of my limits I’m holding myself from total surrender. I think it’s the same as having safe words. When we started playing I had safe words, I hated it to use them of course and I only used them once or twice…..but the idea of having a little control irritates me. I don’t want that control and at the same time I do want a little control. I’m afraid when I have no safe words things go too far and I’ll stop liking bdsm and being his slave. The same goes for limits. I like the idea of having no limits, but what if he starts to do things I’m really afraid of, or things I can’t handle at all? Continue reading
Remember that Master bought a new whip? Not a mean one…. But a nice one? Well he tested it on me and the whip certainly doesn’t hurt. It’s a very good whip for warming up. It feels very dull when it lands. Even when he hits really hard, putting his full body weight in the stroke…. It only hurts a little. So yeah, like I said a good warming up whip… Of course, Master is a very sadistic bastard…so he tried other possibilities to hurt me with that whip. Mean as he is, he turned the whip around and hit me with the cord at the end of the grip. Ouchhh!! That nasty little thing hurts! Continue reading
3 times a year I organise a bdsm meeting with a friend. Yesterday we had our eighth meeting and it was a big success. With a public of 70 people, it was our busiest meeting ever. (usually 50 people attend our meeting) Really cool to see that more people want to come and that everyone had a nice time. Continue reading
Monday we had a rough night. What started with practising a bit with ropes ended in a drama.
Master had tied my arms and legs together with a very nice rope bondage. It looked great and we took some pictures. Since I’m a photographer I’m very critical with pictures and since I was bound…. I couldn’t do anything than give Master instructions how to make it and what settings to use. (Yeah, when he makes pictures of me it’s my only chance to tell him what to do, lol) Master is really getting better at making pictures, he didn’t need much instructions and I was very satisfied. After making pictures he put me on the bed, head down. He started to cane me a little and soon he hit a bit harder. I noticed that I couldn’t handle that much. ( I hate it when I can’t handle pain…) He hit me some more with the cane, but soon grabbed a whip. He calls it the scorpion, I think a better name is asshole. It’s a long single tail whip with a big leather strap at the end. It’s quite mean….He whipped me a bit, but I had the feeling that he was holding back. I know that Master is very sadistic and he hates holding back… So I really thought he didn’t really like what he was doing. Usually I can handle more pain, but Monday I just couldn’t. Continue reading
Last night Master and I went to a bdsm party with friends. It was more of a small meeting of eight couples in a nice and cozy barn. It was our first time there, but there really was a relaxed atmosphere so we quickly felt very comfortable. We watched nice plays from other couples and later in the evening Master gave me a really nice and very hard whipping. I think he even hit me a bit harder than last Monday and certainly he hit me a lot more. It’s always fun to notice I can handle even more pain when we play with other people around. I think it gives me an adrenaline rush, just to know that people are watching. Being his slave and showing it to other people really makes me feel proud. Today we relaxed the whole day, enjoying the memories and bruises from last night. yeah I got fresh bruises. Pretty cool for someone who actually never bruises. (I think this is the third time in my life) I still feel a little bit blurry and spacey today, so I won’t write a very long blog. (Yeah, I’ll make that up to you soon)
Yesterday my Master and I had a good conversation about limits. Although I’m allowed to have limits, we both don’t really like the idea of having them. It makes him feel like he has a little bit less power over me and I don’t like the idea that I can’t give myself completely to him. Continue reading