Me as a spankingmodel!

Friday was a big day. I modelled for a large spankingproduction in Holland:

Master and I left early in the morning to drive all the way to the south of Holland where this spankingproduction is located. It was going to be the first time for me as a spankingmodel so I was a bit nervous. Continue reading


I am Houdini!

Master has a bunch of medieval looking restraints, but unfortunately for him my wrists are extremely small. I can slip out of every of these lovely metal cuffs without any effort (grinnnnnn) Continue reading

Limits: the frustration of having them

I’m allowed to have limits, but I’m not very happy about it. Having limits give me the feeling of not completely surrendering myself to Master. I know that some limits are actually quite normal, as in he is not allowed to cut off limbs or killing me… but I have more limits, also ‘softer’ limits. I’m quite claustrophobic and being locked up for a long time in a cage or cellar is a limit to me. Also needles, heavy electro play, drinking his piss are limits to me. I know that Master doesn’t like needle play himself, so that’s not a problem, but I do have the feeling that with some of my limits I’m holding myself from total surrender. I think it’s the same as having safe words. When we started playing I had safe words, I hated it to use them of course and I only used them once or twice…..but the idea of having a little control irritates me. I don’t want that control and at the same time I do want a little control. I’m afraid when I have no safe words things go too far and I’ll stop liking bdsm and being his slave. The same goes for limits. I like the idea of having no limits, but what if he starts to do things I’m really afraid of, or things I can’t handle at all? Continue reading

Testing the new whip and begging

Remember that Master bought a new whip? Not a mean one…. But a nice one? Well he tested it on me and the whip certainly doesn’t hurt. It’s a very good whip for warming up. It feels very dull when it lands. Even when he hits really hard, putting his full body weight in the stroke…. It only hurts a little. So yeah, like I said a good warming up whip… Of course, Master is a very sadistic bastard…so he tried other possibilities to hurt me with that whip. Mean as he is, he turned the whip around and hit me with the cord at the end of the grip. Ouchhh!! That nasty little thing hurts! Continue reading

Bdsm Meeting

3 times a year I organise a bdsm meeting with a friend. Yesterday we had our eighth meeting and it was a big success. With a public of 70 people, it was our busiest meeting ever. (usually 50 people attend our meeting) Really cool to see that more people want to come and that everyone had a nice time.  Continue reading

Lunch of the day



Living a healthy lifestyle is important for me. I want to serve my Master in the best way I can and I know that when I’m eating healthy and exercise daily I’ll have energy enough to be the best slave for him as possible. Although it’s sometimes really hard to keep eating healthy while Master eats his junkfood 😉 I’m getting better at it. During the day I mostly eat veggies, fruit, nuts, eggs and fish. One of my favourite combos is salmon with broccoli and cashews. It’s easy to prepare, tastes good and is very healthy! Sometimes I eat this at dinner and cook something else for Master, but today I ate this at lunch! I’ll give you the recipe, it’s very easy to make and takes only 10 minutes. Continue reading